Moving on after a divorce!
- 6 Months ago
It's dissolved, you have signed the divorce papers and the door to your marriage has closed. Then why are you still looking at it? Divorce can hit like a storm that you never knew was coming. Maybe you initiated the separation or your ex-husband did. Regardless of whatever the reason was, divorce feels like a dire last step to a cliff into the unknown.
Everyone's divorce story is like chalk and cheese. Maybe you have been married for decades, maybe you have children, maybe you're relieved or your heartbroken, or probably a bit of both. The question is, where do you go from here and how do you start moving towards a new direction?
Learn to like yourself: This may sound a bit cheesy, but many people feel a lot of self-rejection after a divorce. You have to work on getting your confidence back in yourself and your ability to believe in your own worth.
Set small goals: Setting small goals not only boosts your feel good chemicals but also boosts your confidence.
Let go of anger: Note that holding onto anger maintains an emotional connection between you and you're ex, thus slowing down your ability to move on. Hence, make time to relax and de-stress by doing things that you enjoy.
Spend time with people who value and support you: It's very important for you to be around people who are positive and respect your feelings without judging you.
Stick to a routine: A divorce can disrupt your routine, amplifying feelings of sadness, chaos and uncertainty. Get back to a regular routine, this can provide a comforting sense of normalcy.
Cultivate new friendships: If you feel like you have been disconnected with your social network after the divorce, make an effort to meet people.
Plan ahead: Make a list of all the things you're going to do when you get through it. This list can remind you that you still have a future ahead of you. Remember to accept where you are, but know that it is temporary.
Get help: If you're finding it hard to open up to loved ones, consider seeing a counsellor or joining a support group. Don't hesitate!
Live each day: Live your life as an unknown adventure and be curious, excited and learn to embrace the new opportunities that will come your way.
Remember that when you let go, you will find your centre - the real you and you will find peace, tranquillity and acceptance!