Emotional invalidation is quite common and devastating. However, one can somehow endure such invalidation when it comes from strangers, friends, family, or your loved ones. But if emotional invalidation comes from you (self-invalidation), it can be quite painful and overwhelming.
Why? Well, this is what the blog is all about. Here we’ll talk about emotional invalidation, how to determine when you or someone’s invalidating your emotions and why you should avoid self-invalidation. If you’re up for it, let’s begin.
What is emotional invalidation?
When you’re sad, devastated, stressed or happy but someone, instead of understanding or empathizing with you, rejects your feelings, it’s known as emotional invalidation. The emotional invalidation can come both from you or others (strangers, friends, or family).
The victims of this emotional suffering or invalidation are the ones with high emotional vulnerability. Even the slightest bit of invalidation hits such people hard, leading to stress, anxiety, and even depression.
How to know that someone’s invalidating your emotions or feelings?
Whenever someone is unable to understand or doesn’t put any effort into understanding your emotions, it’s a possibility they’re invalidating your emotions. Here are some statements that might indicate emotional invalidation:
- You are overly sensitive.
- You are overthinking.
- You should let it go.
- You took it personally.
- I’m sure it was not that bad.
- You will get over it.
- You are a strong person.
- It could have been worse.
- God never faces you with more than what you can handle.
- Everything happens for a reason.
- I know how you might feel.
- You must have misunderstood.
- You should not be angry.
- Do not be sad.
- You always make chaos out of everything.
- That did not happen.
- Stop fabricating things.
- You are overreacting.
Before reacting to someone’s invalidation, always consider their connection with you. You should always ignore emotional invalidation if it’s coming from someone who has a weak connection with you. And talk it out if it comes from a person who loves you.
How to know when you’re invalidating your emotions or feelings and why shouldn’t you do this?
When you’re the one invalidating your emotions, it’s known as self-invalidation. It usually happens to emotionally vulnerable people. Ask yourself the below questions to confirm self-invalidation:
- Do you think your feelings are exaggerated?
- Do you self-criticize all the time?
- Do you judge yourself for having certain emotions?
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, you’re a victim of self-invalidation. And this is terrible for your mental health. Why? Find out below.
Self-invalidation means not agreeing to what you feel or shunning your emotions. And this can make you feel useless, unwanted, anxious, and even depressed in some cases. Also, self-invalidation is one of the biggest reasons behind emotional misery and emotional suffering.
So, you should always avoid self-invalidation. But how can you do that? Well, read along.
How to fight self-invalidation?
If you’re a victim of self-invalidation, your brain has probably learned to behave in such a way. Now, to change the way you think about your feelings. For that you need to ask yourself the below question:
Whatever emotion that I’m feeling right now is it making sense?
You should know that every emotion has its own cause. It means every emotion is valid up to some extent. You can dig deep into your mind, introspect, and self-talk to determine the cause of the emotion. And then you can decide how valid the emotion is.
Make sure to never go too hard on yourself. Some level of self-criticism is good, but when you increase the intensity, it can be devastating. You should focus on self-love, self-care, and feel good about yourself. This way, you can fight unnecessary self-invalidation and act rationally.
Also, if you’re unable to deal with self-invalidation, you should consult a professional therapist. Through his training sessions, a professional therapist will help you understand emotional invalidation and deal with the same.
Good mental health is quite essential these days. And emotional invalidation is possibly its biggest enemy. So, make sure to never let anyone, especially a stranger, invalidate your emotions and ignore them if they do so. Also, refrain from self-invalidating your emotions by introspecting your mind, joining wellness programs, or by contacting a therapist.