Ghosting is a phrase that has gained popularity in recent years, and the practice of ghosting has become common, especially with the popularity of online dating and the broad use of technology for communication. But what exactly is ghosting, why do people do it, and what can you do if someone ghosted you?
What is ghosting?
Ghosting is a form of avoidance in which you entirely ignore the other person and stop all contact with them without explanation. Ghosting involves one person abruptly ending a relationship, leaving the other person with unanswered questions, wondering what went wrong, and having to pick up the pieces.
With the advancement of social media and mobile technology, it is now easier than ever to cut ties with someone for various reasons. It is as simple as pressing a button to remove someone from one's life. They vanish into thin air like a ghost.
Why do people ghost?
People who ghost are afraid of being mistreated or rejected. They may also be suffering from low self-esteem or depression, which makes them feel unworthy of the effort required to establish a genuine connection. Ghosting shows a lack of concern for the other person's feelings and sensitivity to how ghosting may affect them. They believe the other person will get the hint that they could use to defend their actions.
People may also ghost because they are afraid of disagreement or do not want to deal with the feelings of the other person. This can be extremely harmful to both individuals involved, and it is critical to understand that everyone should be able to express their feelings in positive ways. This could be due to a lack of clear communication skills since they are unable to explain or tell the other person how they are feeling.
Who ghosts and who gets ghosted?
People who ghost are most likely to deal with emotional baggage that they do not want to discuss with the other person. They may be trying to avoid an unpleasant confrontation or experience/ they may be afraid of rejection.
People who get ghosted are typically puzzled and hurt by what has happened. They may experience trust issues, low self-esteem, and depression, which they will have to deal with over time.
How to avoid being ghosted in a relationship?
Ghosting takes place because of a conflict between communication and expectations. So, the only way to prevent ghosting is to convey expectations regularly so that actions are not unexpected.
But what if you're already dating or chatting to a guy/girl and experiencing relationship stress? Do you want to make sure that he/she does not ghost you? Here are some pointers to consider:
Meet in person
To avoid being ghosted, avoid excessive pre-talk, which can become tedious. Instead, go straight for the coffee or drinks. When you converse in person, you can sense whether you have chemistry or if you feel attraction, which is not always noticeable on your phone.
People instinctively dislike leaving things unexplained, so asking questions is your best chance for an engaging conversation that won't fade away. People want to interact with individuals who appear to be interested in both them and their interests, and the best way to look interested is to ask questions.
Keep things short and sweet, don't make yourself too available. Even if you're a former supermodel turned orthopedic physician, being overly available sends the wrong message. Keep some mystery in your conversations so that the person you're chatting with has the motive to ask you out in person and know more about you.
Also check: Four pillars of effective communication
Long-term effects of being ghosted
Being the sufferer of ghosting can have a huge emotional and mental impact on someone. It is likely to cause unpleasant emotions, including confusion, irritation, self-doubt, rage, and sadness.
Being ghosted by someone you care about has serious long-term consequences. It leaves you heartbroken, unhappy, and confused like any other breakup. Creates trust issues that may have an impact on future relationships.
Also read: Know your attachment style for a healthy relationship
Getting over someone who ghosted you?
Accepting that the relationship is over is the first step. You must grieve the loss of what could have been and allow yourself time to recover before beginning something new. Accept that you cannot influence or control the behavior of others.
One thing that can make someone feel better is that ghosting is a sign of emotional immaturity in some ways. By leaving, they showed that they lack the effort needed to keep up a stable, long-term relationship.
Remember that the end of the relationship was not your fault and that the person who ghosted you may be responsible for their actions. It's important to discuss your experience with someone you trust so that you may begin to heal the pain caused by being ghosted.
How can you stop from contacting someone who ghosted you?
Reaching out to someone who has ghosted you will only make matters worse. You must remember that this individual is not worth your time or energy, and you must go on. Surround yourself with friends who will help and support you throughout this period. If you are having difficulty moving on from the ghosting, get professional help.
You could also believe that reaching out will help you find closure. Contacting them again can delay the healing process and make it more difficult for you to move on.
While ghosting might be painful, the individual must understand that it does not reflect their worth or value. It is an outcome of the ghost's fears, insecurities, or personal issues. Ghosting can occur when a relationship becomes too demanding for one of the partners. When this happens, they will find ways to avoid their partner without addressing any issues or lack of desire.
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