Anger, arises from precursors such as hurt, humiliation, anxiety, doubt, worry, rejection, and fear. When any of these precursors become too intense to withstand, anger comes to the forefront. Therefore, contrary to what most of us believe, anger does not make someone rude or hateful. It is in fact a healthy way of letting off some steam. The only downside of anger is that when expressed in wrong ways, anger can end up hurting people and cause permanent dents in good relationships.
A good way to manage the whole anger situation is to get to the root cause of it all.
Re-check if your anger is the result of your emotions riding on a negative path. Are you doing the following?
- Overgeneralizing. Thinking, “Why does this ALWAYS happen to me?”, “Why is it that my boss always yells at me?” are examples making a guess that is magnified and generalized and feeling more and more aggressive with this thought.
- Wanting to have things work out a certain way. Nothing comes out of being angry over things that have happened just because they haven’t happened the way you wanted it.
- Obsessing on “shoulds” and “musts.” Having a rigid view of the way things should or must be and getting angry when reality doesn’t line up with this vision.
- Jumping to conclusions. Assuming and concluding without having a complete background of why and what has happened can lead to unrequited outbursts of anger.
- Accumulating sadness and frustration. Having a tendency to accumulate sadness and frustration can lead to suppressed anger that can break open like a soda bottle that’s been shaken too much.
- Blaming. Thinking that it is all because of XYZ reason, can instigate a feeling of anger that can continue to grow disproportionately with time.
Managing and mismanaging anger lies entirely in your hands. It is up to you to choose the path you wish to take.
