Jealousy can be one of the most destructive emotions in any relationship and can wreak havoc on your happiness if you let it go unchecked. With some work and commitment from both partners, however, Jealousy can be managed and overcome to prevent damage to your relationship and your mental health.
Check out this article for strategies on how to deal with Jealousy in your relationship so that you can be happy with the person you love and not let Jealousy get in the way of that happiness.
What Is Jealousy?
Jealousy is an emotion that can range from mild to extreme. It is characterized by insecurity, fear, and anxiety over the possibility of losing something or someone you value. While Jealousy is a normal emotion, it can become problematic if it becomes obsessive or starts to impact your relationships negatively.
Normal vs Unhealthy Jealousy
We've all felt jealous at one point or another. But what separates normal Jealousy from the unhealthy kind? Unhealthy Jealousy is when you start to obsess over your partner's every move, who they're talking to, and what they're doing. This can quickly lead to the destruction of your relationship.
Causes of Jealousy
Jealousy is a normal emotion, but it can become problematic when it's all-consuming and leads to obsessive behaviors. There are many signs of obsessive Jealousy. It could be your partner withdrawing from you emotionally or refusing to talk to you when they get home from work because they feel like they've been checked up on. If your relationship isn't what it used to be, this could be a sign that your partner has developed an unhealthy level of obsession with how much time you spend together and where you go when they aren't around. You should seek help for yourself if any of these behaviors sound familiar! There are many possibilities of Jealousy, such as:
- Insecurity and Fear
- Parental issues
Insecurity and Fear:
Low self-esteem and insecurity may make you jealous of your partner's successes because you want validation from them. Similarly, low self-esteem can lead you to think that your partner might be cheating on you because they don't find you attractive enough.
Your partner might be making an innocent comment, but for you, it comes across as a slight against your self-worth. By jumping to conclusions, your insecurities are getting the best of you. Instead of being overly sensitive about every word your partner says, practice self-love and make sure you have friends who support you. Spend time doing things that make you happy so that your life doesn't revolve around what someone else does.
If none of these things works, try talking to a therapist or counselor who can help you through this difficult time.
You might have never resolved any problems with your parents or caregivers, so you may see your partner's actions through that lens. Your Jealousy may be subconsciously tied to issues from your childhood. For example, if one parent abandoned you, you may believe your partner will leave you too. It's important to process the feelings behind those thoughts instead of suppressing them by behaving irrationally. We all experience emotions we don't like, but acting out on them in unhealthy ways only worsens matters.
- Jealousy can destroy relationships: Jealousy is often born out of insecurity and fear. When we're feeling jealous, we're usually afraid of losing something important to us. Whether it's our partner, our job, or even just our sense of self-worth, Jealousy can cause us to act in ways that are destructive to both ourselves and the people we care about
- Jealousy can lead to distrust: If you obsessively check your partner's phone messages or suspecting them of infidelity, you may be fostering mistrust within your relationship. The best way to overcome these feelings is by ensuring that your relationship has strong boundaries and trust between partners.
- Paranoia: Obsessive Jealousy can make you feel like your partner doesn't love you as much as they should. But if this is the case, they probably wouldn't want to stay with someone who was so paranoid all the time. For this reason, don't let obsessive thoughts take over - instead, try to think positively and work on building up some trust within your relationship.
- Physical violence: Jealousy can sometimes turn into physical violence. It could start as pushing or shoving when things get heated, but it might escalate into something more serious before long. You need to put a stop to any form of abuse immediately for the sake of everyone involved in the relationship.
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How to Deal With Jealousy
Jealousy is not always bad. It can keep you safe by warning you of potential danger. But when Jealousy becomes an issue in your relationship, it's time to take a look at how to deal with it.
Steps To Overcome Jealousy
- Healthily express jealousy by talking to your partner.
- Focus on why you feel jealous rather than just getting angry at them for being away from you.
- Make sure your partner knows how important they are to you.
- Work through things together, and don't forget that there is plenty of time for both people in the relationship.
- Check in yourself and make sure your insecurities aren't getting the best of you.
- Reflect on Jealousy as an emotion instead of a constant need to control someone else.
- Talk about what makes you feel jealous, and then work with your partner to find ways to alleviate those feelings instead of just making them go away by controlling their life for them. If you have obsessive Jealousy, it may be time to reevaluate your relationship altogether. Related: Communicate effectively to maintain a healthy relationship
- Be open-minded; it's easy to project our thoughts onto others, so try to be aware of what may influence those thoughts before judging your partner harshly.
- And lastly, remember that being jealous isn't bad as long as you deal with it correctly and don't let it get out of hand!
Jealousy is a normal emotion but can become destructive if not managed properly.
If you're struggling with Jealousy in your relationship, try to take some time apart and reflect on what made you feel jealous.
Ask yourself questions like: What did I do when I felt jealous? Who did I talk to about my feelings? Why did I feel jealous? And how would things have been different if I had done something differently? These are just a few tips for overcoming Jealousy.
Remember that everyone feels jealous sometimes, and there are ways to overcome it!