Never Go To Sleep Angry Or Mad At Someone. Here's Why.

  • 15 months ago
5 minute read.
Never Go To Sleep Angry Or Mad At Someone. Here's Why.

Many people have heard the saying never go to bed angry and found themselves nodding in agreement. Indeed, many people believe this is sound advice, but how can you incorporate it into your own life?

For example, if you and your spouse get into an argument at dinner, don’t just let things worsen. Instead, take time to cool off after dinner, then talk about the issue once you’re both calm enough to stay respectful and open-minded.

If you can come up with resolutions instead of just trading taunts, your relationship will be healthier for it in the long run. But what about when things really boil over? Is there a better way to manage your anger than simply pushing it aside until tomorrow?

Anger Management Assessment

Read on to find out more about the practice of never going to bed angry and how you can use its unique benefits to create a happier and healthier life for yourself.

Benefits of This Practice - Never Go to Bed Angry

By never going to bed angry, you manage your emotions better:

When you don’t allow yourself to fuss about something for hours, you can move on faster. Additionally, going to bed upset with your partner could cause sleep issues. Never going to bed angry is a practice that helps you better manage your emotions. Although it may sound simple, it’s often difficult for people who are prone to getting very upset about things.

This can be an effective way of preventing yourself from doing something regrettable:

Because anger has often clouded your judgment in moments like these. By taking a moment before going to bed, you can work through what made you so angry, calm down and prevent any sort of ill-thought action from happening.

Emotional Counseling

Anger Can Be Exhausting:

Research shows that anger is one of our strongest emotions, partly because it activates so many areas in our brain. Think about it—when you’re angry, how do you feel? It’s not just your face that turns red; other parts of your body become flushed too.

Even when we’re just thinking about anger, our bodies react in these ways. Because anger makes us physically tired, getting a good night’s sleep after fighting with a spouse or significant other may prevent future arguments over smaller issues due to a lack of energy on your part.

Related: How sleep affects mental health?

It ends up waking up in the middle of the night:

Have you ever woken up in anger even though you thought everything was settled before bedtime? At least some of that anger might have stemmed from an argument during the day (or several days ago).

If you never go to bed angry, there’s no chance for unresolved tension from earlier conflicts to carry over into your dreams and interfere with your bedtime.

Learning to never go to bed angry also benefits relationships with family members or significant others.

Relationships begin breaking down when partners start seeing each other as enemies instead of loving companions; by discussing issues daily before heading off into dreamland together, couples build intimacy while working out conflicts.

However, there is one major drawback:

Avoiding problems indefinitely won’t get rid of them forever; anger issues may need face-to-face confrontation or even professional help from time to time. There are cases where issues cannot be solved by simply talking things out. Instead, they require a certain amount of letting go or forgiving.

In these situations, never going to bed angry can make it more difficult for you and your partner to move on.

Why is it sometimes okay? (Is there is a benefit to going to bed angry)

Anger management experts say that when you never go to bed angry, you let unresolved arguments fester over time, making your partner even more furious with you. It would be better if couples worked out their differences as soon as possible.

Since anger is one of our strongest emotions, it will sometimes build into resentment if we go to bed unhappy. We need time for each other to calm down and reflect on what has happened and what is happening or missing in our relationship.

Anger itself is not bad but overreacting, or fighting becomes inevitable when we are overwhelmed by it. Thus, letting ourselves cool off is part of managing our emotions.

Should You Follow This Rule?

While it’s good advice not to let anger fester, holding on to a grudge will never benefit you.

A healthy relationship isn’t about choosing your battles—it’s about respecting boundaries, whether that means never going to bed angry or choosing when a fight is worth having.

It all depends on your goals for your relationship: If you want someone who can rationally discuss conflicts with you before they escalate, managing your emotions might be more beneficial than holding onto them.

Resolve conflict with your loved ones

If you’re arguing with a loved one, here are some steps that you can follow:

Being open about your feelings:

From managing your emotions after a heated argument to maintaining an honest relationship with your partner, being open about your feelings is paramount in preserving your relationship.

Constructive discourse (taking out a few seconds or minutes to think before reacting) allows us to vent our frustrations. More importantly, it gives us time as a couple that we can reflect upon. You may never go to bed angry with someone when you share what’s on your mind before it becomes bottled up inside.

Appreciating your partner’s apology:

It can be beneficial to accept your partner’s apology. Saying never go to bed angry is sound advice—even if it may not feel like it in a moment of rage.

Before you decide whether or not you should work through your emotions, remember that anger is a natural emotion and needs to be managed effectively. When anger spirals out of control, there’s no telling where things could lead.

Commit to finding a resolution:

People who go to bed angry with their partner tend to wake up angry, too. Suppose you want a good night’s sleep (and a good relationship). In that case, it’s essential to manage your anger when it arises and commit yourself fully—even if you don’t see immediate results—to finding solutions that work for both of you.

Practicing deep breathing:

A healthy way to manage anger is to practice deep breathing. Breathing exercises are often taught in Anger Management classes, which teach you how to breathe deeply from your stomach, even when angry.

When you are feeling a lot of rages, find a quiet space where you can take three deep breaths: inhale for four seconds; hold your breath for two seconds; exhale for six seconds. Deep breathing will help you feel calmer, both mentally and physically.


When you never go to bed angry, you can manage your emotions a lot better. It also lets you see situations from a more rational perspective and be less emotional when deciding on how best to handle them.

Despite all these benefits, there is something extremely important that comes into play with saying "never go bed angry." That something is called forgiveness. Forgiveness is an integral part of life; without it, relationships would break down far too quickly for us to maintain them properly.

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