How To Cope When You Feel Like An Unwanted Third Person?

  • 1 month ago
4 minute read.
How To Cope When You Feel Like An Unwanted Third Person?

You're out with your two best friends, and the atmosphere is charged with laughter and camaraderie. But there's just one tiny hitch – you find yourself as the third wheel. Ah, the classic scenario that can induce cringes and sighs.

As the cliché saying goes, "three's a crowd." Yet, it doesn't have to be that way. Being the third wheel might make you feel like an outsider peering into someone else's world of romance, but trust me, there's a silver lining to this situation that you might not have noticed. Embrace the third wheel vibe, and you'll unlock a world of adventures, laughs, and memorable moments that will redefine how you view this oft-misjudged position.

It's easy to get caught up in the pitfalls of feeling like you don't belong, but isn't life all about seizing the moment and making the most of every experience? The truth is, being a third wheel presents unique opportunities for growth, self-discovery, and bonding that might not be evident at first glance.

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Signs you might be the third wheeling

  • Feeling Left Out: You often feel excluded from conversations, plans, or inside jokes between your friends or the couple.
  • Noticed Discomfort: You notice a sense of discomfort or uneasiness when hanging out with your friends or the couple, as if you don't quite fit into the dynamic.
  • Being Ignored: Your attempts to join conversations or activities might be met with unintentional ignorance or a lack of acknowledgment.
  • Constant Pairing Off: Your friends or the couple tend to pair off, leaving you feeling like an outsider.
  • Physical Gestures: You observe physical gestures between your friends or the couple, like holding hands or hugging, which can intensify your feeling of being alone.
  • Feeling Like a Translator: You often find yourself in the middle of your friends or the couple, acting as a mediator or translator between them.
  • One-on-One Plans Excluded: You notice that your friends or the couple often make plans without including you.
  • Intrusive Thoughts: You catch yourself having intrusive thoughts or feeling envious of the connection your friends or the couple share.
  • Feeling Obligated: You might feel obligated to spend time with your friends or the couple, even if you don't enjoy the experience.
  • Difficulty Expressing Yourself: You struggle to voice your opinions or share your experiences, fearing that it might disrupt the dynamic between your friends or the couple.

How to deal with being the third wheel?

1. Embrace your individuality

One of the most important aspects of dealing with being a third wheel is to embrace your individuality. Understand that it's okay to be single or not romantically involved at the moment. Celebrate the freedom and independence you have and recognize that you are complete on your own. Your worth is not defined by being part of a couple.

2. Communicate your feelings

If you're feeling left out or uncomfortable, don't be afraid to communicate your feelings with your friends or the couple you're with. Being honest about how you feel can lead to better understanding and might even lead to changes in the group dynamics to ensure everyone feels included.

Also read: Communicate to maintain a healthy relationship!

3. Be the planner

Take charge and suggest activities or outings that you all can enjoy together. By being the planner, you can tailor the experience to suit your interests and passions. This proactive approach will not only make you feel more involved but also showcase your leadership skills and creativity.

4. Cultivate your hobbies

Use your time as a third wheel to focus on your hobbies and interests. Develop new skills or deepen your knowledge in areas that excite you. This not only helps to pass the time but also boosts your confidence and makes you a more interesting and engaging person to be around.

5. Build strong connections

While you might be the third wheel in certain situations, remember that you have the opportunity to connect with people on an individual level. Strengthen your bonds with your friends or the couple you're with by engaging in meaningful conversations and actively listening to their experiences.

Also read: Social connections & friends can make you healthier!

6. Seek out other third wheels

You're not alone in being a third wheel, and there's a good chance that there are others who feel the same way you do. Look for social events or gatherings where you can meet like-minded people who might be in similar situations. Having others who understand your experience can be comforting and even lead to new friendships.

7. Focus on self improvement

Take advantage of your time as a third wheel to focus on personal growth and self-improvement. Consider reading self-help books, attending workshops, or engaging in mindfulness practices. Use this time as an opportunity to become the best version of yourself.

8. Practice gratitude

Instead of dwelling on negative feelings, shift your perspective and practice gratitude. Focus on the positive aspects of the situation, such as the opportunity to spend time with your friends or witnessing the beauty of love and affection between the couple you're with.


Being a third wheel can be challenging at times, but it doesn't have to be a negative experience. Embrace the opportunity to strengthen your friendships, develop new skills, and cultivate a positive mindset. Remember, it's okay to feel a little left out occasionally, as long as you maintain open communication and prioritize your well-being.

Being the third wheel can teach you valuable life lessons, such as empathy and independence, which will serve you well in various aspects of your life. So, the next time you find yourself in such a situation, put these strategies into practice and make the most of being an extra in the love equation.

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