Lies Not To Tell Your Therapist

You should always be honest with— your therapist. These professionals are there to help you, and they need all the facts to do so effectively. But interestingly, many people don't always tell me the whole truth. We get why it can be tempting to lie about these sessions.

Therapy is like a safe place where you can talk about your feelings and thoughts without judgment. It's where you can be real and open up about what's bothering you. But sometimes, people end up telling lies to their therapists, even though therapy is meant to be a space for truth.

These lies can be small, like leaving out details, or big, like making up stories. They can make it hard for therapy to work as well as it should.

Imagine you're telling your therapist that everything is okay when, in reality, you're struggling. Or saying you've never been through anything tough, even though you have. These lies can get in the way of you getting the help you need.

You may also like: Can AI-enabled chatbots replace human therapists?

Common phrases of lying used in therapy

1. "I'm fine": This is perhaps the most common lie people tell their therapists. They may say it to avoid delving into painful emotions or out of fear of burdening their therapist.
2. "I've never experienced that before": Some individuals may downplay their past experiences, traumas, or symptoms, either out of shame or a desire to present a more 'normal' image.
3. "I'm taking my medication as prescribed": Patients may overstate their medication adherence to avoid judgment or changes in their treatment plan.
4. "I don't have any suicidal thoughts": Many people struggle with suicidal thoughts but are afraid to admit them for fear of being hospitalized or judged.
5. "I'm not drinking or using drugs": Substance abuse is often hidden from therapists due to the fear of condemnation or concerns about legal consequences.
6. "I've already forgiven them": Clients may falsely claim to have forgiven someone to avoid addressing unresolved issues or emotions related to past events.
7. "I have a strong support system": Some may exaggerate their support networks to avoid confronting feelings of loneliness or vulnerability.
8. "I've been following the coping strategies": Patients may lie about engaging in recommended coping mechanisms, fearing that their therapist will view them as resistant to treatment if they admit otherwise.
9. "I'm not as anxious/depressed as before": People might understate their symptoms' severity to give the impression that they're improving faster than they are.
10. "I'm here because someone else thinks I need therapy": Clients occasionally attend therapy because they feel pressured by others, rather than acknowledging their need for help.

Anonymous judgement-free sessions available

Why people lie to their therapists

• Fear of judgment: Clients may worry that revealing their true feelings or actions will lead to criticism or disappointment from their therapist.
• Shame and embarrassment: Certain topics can evoke shame or embarrassment, causing individuals to conceal the truth.
• Self-perception: People may want to maintain a positive self-image and feel ashamed to admit they're struggling or have made mistakes.
• Protective instinct: Individuals may lie to protect their loved ones or themselves from the perceived consequences of their true feelings or behaviors.
• Fear of change: Some individuals lie to avoid potential changes in their treatment plan or hospitalization, believing it will disrupt their lives.

Reasons why you should be honest in your therapy

Honesty is the cornerstone of effective therapy. When you lie to your therapist, you hinder your progress in several profound ways:

• Missed opportunities: Therapists rely on accurate information to provide the most effective treatment. Lying may lead to missed opportunities for growth and healing.
• Incomplete understanding: A therapist cannot help you fully if they don't have the complete picture of your struggles and experiences.
• Prolonged suffering: Lying may prolong your emotional pain and prevent you from addressing underlying issues.
• Strained therapist-client relationship: Trust is paramount in therapy, and lying erodes that trust, making it harder to build a productive therapeutic relationship.
• Delayed recovery: Ultimately, dishonesty can hinder your journey toward mental and emotional well-being.

Also check: Why do we need therapy and things therapists wish you knew

Tips for honesty in therapy

Recognize your fear: Understand that the fear of judgment or consequences is natural but not conducive to healing.

Trust your therapist: Remember that therapists are bound by confidentiality and are there to help, not judge.

Take it slow: Share at your own pace. It's okay to start with smaller truths and gradually open up.

Reflect on the consequences: Consider how honesty can lead to more effective therapy and better mental health outcomes.

Also read: The role of virtual therapy sessions in Improving mental health

In conclusion

Telling lies during therapy is something many people do, but it doesn't help. It's okay to feel hesitant, but being truthful is vital for therapy to work well. Therapists are there to assist you without judging you. When you're honest and share your real feelings and experiences, you'll get the most out of therapy and make progress toward feeling better. So, remember, honesty is your ally in therapy, and it's a powerful tool for healing and personal growth.